Ideas for Thriller Opening

Original Transcript
The establishing shot is at night of a teenage boy standing with his back facing a swimming pool. He is all on his own wearing school clothes but looks depressed. The next thing we realise is he has a bag on his back, which we later find out is full of bricks. We then see him falling back into the pool in slow-motion, and then jump cut into the next scene to the morning in which he immediately arises out of the bathwater, gasping for air. We then see him getting dryed of in the bath room and gradually getting ready for school. He packs the usual things for school, however he does it slowly and suspiciously. However, he then starts to pack some unusual objects, for example bricks, and maybe objects close to him. He picks up a family photo which is framed in the shot. This arouses more suspicion about his state of mind. We then see the boy writing a note that he leaves around the house, (maybe on his bed, or in the kitchen).

The next scene begins with the teen in his early childhood, with both parents outside in the garden with the father teaching the boy how to play football, whilst the mother is sunbathing. It shows the boy as very happy, and having a strong relationship with his father.

The next scene we see the father ill and in hospital. The doctor comes in and reveals his dad is suffering from lung cancer as he was a heavy smoker. This is the turning point for the child and it is from this point that his happiness takes a turn for the worse. In the next scene we see the boy at about the age of 13, and by his father’s bedside as he dies. This is the point where he starts to spiral into depression, as his father’s death hits him hard.

The final scene shows the day of where he decides to commit suicide, beginning with scenes from the flashbacks at the beginning. The scene opens with him packing the unusual objects and leaving the note behind. He has a bad day at school, with teachers constantly barking at him. It ends with the scene the film started with, with the boy jumping into the pool and his tombstone comes up and the credits scroll along the tombstone.

Reasons For Our Chosen Storyline
We decided to use a psychological thriller because our research showed that 9 out of 20 people preferred that type of thriller with crime thrillers being second with 4 out of 20. Although 20 people is only a small sample we also interviewed an extra 19 people asking which thriller film they prefer out of Inception and The Dark Knight. Out of the 19 people, 12 people said they preferred Inception which is a psychological thriller. It also helped that each member of our group was a big fan of psychological thrillers and were enthusiastic about making one. One of our main inspirations was the thriller Inception that was hugely popular when released in cinemas.

Transcript Feedback
For feedback we asked four girls and four boys how they thought we could improve our transcript. We chose a mixture of girls an boys so we had views from both genders.

Louise – The death of his Dad should be more spontaneous so it is sadder when we find out he dies.

Jamie – If the Dad dies from smoking there should be a scene of him smoking to create a scene of foreboding.

Nick – There should be more focus on why the boy is depressed so you can relate more to him.

Max – It Jumps too quickly from age to age which can be confusing. There should also be more focus on the father and sons relationship.

Tommy – There should be a scene of his mum not coping so you can see he has no one to turn to.

Emma – Go more into depth with how bad his day at school was, e.g, what went wrong and what people said to him.

Jess – Too much is revealed at the beginning so there is no sense of mystery to the story.

Ellie – There should be a better ending than just showing his tombstone.

Focus Group

The focus group was far more helpful than we had originally imagined. It really helped us to scrutinise our transcript further and people also came up with some good ideas that we had not originally thought of. It was also useful because we got an unbiased view.

Final Transcript
The establishing shot is of teenage boys arm turning on the taps to run a bath. He goes on to do everyday morning things, for example, brush his teeth. You then see a leg slowly entering the bath. The next shot will be of the boy gradually sinking his head under the water of the bath. It then fades quickly to a shot of the same boy writing a suicide not to his mother, (this note will be expressed through a voice over). As the voice over is being spoken, there will be shots of him slowly getting dressed into his school uniform. Once he is dressed he picks up a photo of him and his father. In this shot you will only be able to see the photo and no background. In the next shot the boy is holding the same photo, but in different surroundings. He is in a room with a swimming pool with a school bag on his back. The next shots show the swimming pool cover slowly opening and the teenage boy walking around the pool with the photo still in his hand. When the boy reaches the other side of the pool he puts the heels of his shoes over the edge. There are then flashbacks of him and his father, the suicide note he wrote and him packing his school bag with bricks, (that will weigh him down in the swimming pool). He falls backwards into the swimming pool and then quickly emerges from the bath he had previously sunk into.

The next scene begins with the teen in his early childhood, with both parents outside in the garden with the father teaching the boy how to play football, whilst the mother is sunbathing. It shows the boy as very happy, and having a strong relationship with his father.

The next scene we see the father ill and in hospital. The doctor comes in and reveals his dad is suffering from lung cancer as he was a heavy smoker. This is the turning point for the child and it is from this point that his happiness takes a turn for the worse. In the next scene we see the boy at about the age of 13, and by his father’s bedside as he dies. This is the point where he starts to spiral into depression, as his father’s death hits him hard.

The final scene shows the day of where he decides to commit suicide, beginning with scenes from the flashbacks at the beginning. The scene opens with him packing the unusual objects and leaving the note behind. He has a bad day at school, with teachers constantly barking at him. It ends with the scene the film started with, with the boy jumping into the pool and his tombstone comes up and the credits scroll along the tombstone.

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